Child Sexual Abuse: What It Is And How to Prevent It

Sexual abuse of children is more common than most people realize. At least 1 out of 5 adult women and 1 out of 10 adult men report having been sexually abused in childhood. By educating yourself and your children about sexual abuse, you can help prevent it from happening to your children and better cope with it if it does.

What is child sexual abuse?
Could my child be sexually abused? By whom?
How would I know if my child is being sexually abuse?
What should I do if my child reveals sexual abuse to me?
Can I deal with sexual abuse without contacting the authorities?
What will happen to the child and to the abuser if sexual abuse is reported?
What can parents do to prevent sexual abuse?

What is child sexual abuse?

Sexual abuse is when an adult or an older child forces sexual contact on a younger child. Any of the following acts by an adult or older child are sexual abuse:

• Fondling a child’s genitals
• Getting a child to fondle their genitals
• Mouth to genital contact with a child
• Rubbing their genitals on a child
• Penetrating a child’s vagina or anus
• Showing their genitals to a child
• Showing pornographic or “dirty” pictures or videotapes to a child
• Using a child as a model to make pornographic materials

Could my child be sexually abused? By whom?

Children are abused most often by adults or older children whom they know and who can influence their behavior by exerting power over them. In 8 out of 10 reported cases, the abuser is someone the child knows. The abuser is often an authority figure whom the child trusts or loves.

How would I know if my child is being sexually abused?

Many parents expect their son or daughter to tell them or another trusted adult about being sexually abused. Abusers often threaten or convince the child not to tell anyone about it. The child may believe that the abuse is his fault and that the will be punished if someone finds out. A child’s first statements about abuse may be vague and incomplete. He may just hint about the problem to see if he would get in trouble. Abused children may tell a friend about it. The friend may then tell an adult. Children may tell about abuse after a personal safety program at their school. Parents may suspect abuse because of the child’s behavior. You should be aware of the following behavioral changes in your child that may be symptoms of sexual abuse:

• Noticeable, new fear of a person (even a parent) or certain places
• Unusual or unexpected response from the child when asked if she was touched by someone
• Drawings that show sexual acts
• Abrupt changes in behavior, such as bed-wetting or loss of bowel control
• Sudden awareness of genitalia
• Sexual acts and words shared with other children or animals
• Questions about sexual activity that are beyond the child’s development
• Changes in sleep habits, such as nightmares in young children
• Constipation, or refusal to have bowel movements

What should I do if my child reveals sexual abuse to me?

Children tend to ignore things that make them feel uncomfortable, rather than recognize them as warning signs. If your child talks about abuse, listen carefully and take it very seriously. When a child’s plea for help is ignored, not believed, or punished, she may not risk telling again. As a result, the child could remain a victim of abuse for months or years.

Teach your child that it is OK to talk about uncomfortable feelings.

If your child reveals abuse, you should take the following steps:

1. Face the issue. Listen to your child’s reasons for revealing the issue. Tell your child the abuse is not her fault. Give her extra love, comfort, and reassurance. If you are angry, make sure she knows you are not angry with her, and you will help her. Let your child know how brave she is to tell her and that you understand how scared she feels. This is even more important if the child has been abused by a close and trusted relative or family friend.
2. Take charge of the situation. Protect the child from further abuse.
3. Discuss the problem with a pediatrician and a counselor who can provide support.
4. Report abuse to the police or local child protection service agency. Ask about crisis support help.

Can I deal with sexual abuse in my family without contacting the authorities?

Parents should not try to stop or treat sexual abuse themselves. If abuse is suspected, parents should follow the steps above and get help.

What will happen to the child and to the abuser if sexual abuse is reported?

Sexual abuse is against the law. It is a crime, no matter who the abuser is. Cases are investigated by the police, a social service agency, or both. With the help of a doctor, they will decide whether sexual abuse took place. Depending on the circumstances, the police may let social services manage the case, especially if the child is very young, shows no signs of physical injury, or if the abuser is young or a family member. When a child is abused by a nonfamily member, the matter must be handled by the police.

After sexual abuse is reported, what happens next depends on the circumstances of the case. Preventing further abuse of the child is the first concern of the authorities. The abuser may be referred to a treatment program. If the suspected abuser lives in the home and faces criminal charges, authorities will recommend that the suspected abuser leave the home. In any case, the child can usually stay in the home as long as her family will take the necessary steps to protect her from further abuse by asking the abuser to leave the home while the problem is investigated. Whatever the circumstances, the child and family will need a lot of support from relatives and friends.

What parents can do to prevent sexual abuse

The American Academy of Pediatrics encourages you to take the following steps:

• Talk to your child about sexual abuse. If your child’s school sponsors a sexual abuse program, discuss what he learned.
• Teach your child which body parts are private (parts covered by a bathing suit) and the proper names of those parts. Let him know that his body belongs to him. Tell him to yell “no” or “stop” to anyone who may threaten him sexually.
• Listen when your child tries to tell you something, especially when it seems hard for him to talk about it. Make sure your child knows it’s OK to tell you about any attempt to molest him or touch him in a way that made him feel uncomfortable, no matter who the abuser may be. Let him know he can trust you and that you will not be angry with him if he tells you.
• Give your child enough time and attention. Weekly family meetings can be used to talk about all good and bad experiences.
• Know the adults and children with whom your child is spending time. Be careful about allowing your child to spend time alone or in out-of-the-way places with other adults or older children. Make visits to your child’s caregiver without notice. Ask your child about his visits to the caregiver or with child sitters.
• Never let your child enter a stranger’s home without a parent or trusted adult. Door-to-door fund-raising is particularly risky for unsupervised children.
• Check to see if your child’s school has an abuse prevention program for the teachers and children. If it doesn’t, start one.
• Tell someone in authority if you suspect that your child or someone else’s child is being abused.